A Davis Conversation

This blog post deals with something unusual which happened to me (normally I only hear about these things from other people). Earlier this week I was walking down E St, about to grab an iced-coffee from Peet's when a car pulled over next to me.

The driver, a man in his mid- to late-fifties, proceeded to ask me whether I lived in Davis and whether I could help him with directions. Now as a loyal citizen of this great, little town, I was only too happy to oblige him. After all, shouldn't we all offer a warm welcome to any outsider who happens to be visiting Davis. The rest of the conversation went something like this:

Him: So I'm looking for the Davis Walmart store.

Me: Ah, I don't think there is a Walmart in Davis Sir.

Him: You kidding me?

Me: No, I'm pretty sure about this Sir. It's a small town and I've lived here a while now. Was there something specific you were looking for, maybe another store in town might have what you want.

Him: I was looking for a Walmart...the Davis Walmart. 

At this point he seemed to be getting a little uptight. I proceeded as best I could.

Me: I'm really sorry, but there isn't a Walmart in Davis. We have an Ace hardware and homeware store, we almost have a Target store, but we really don't have a Walmart.

Him: So you're calling Ernie a liar?

Me: Umm, who's Ernie?

Him: My cousin. He's the one that told me about the Davis Walmart.

Me: Oh I see. And Ernie lives in Davis?

Him: No. In Ohio. So where's the Walmart then? Ernie wouldn't lie to me.

By this point I was half tempted to just walk away. But I tried staying calm and proceeded to help him.

Me: Sir, maybe your cousin was referring to the Walmart in Sacramento, or the Walmart in Dixon, or the Walmart in Woodland. They are all pretty close to Davis, just 15 minutes drive east, west, or north of here.

Him: Look miss, I am not talking about any of these other so-called Walmarts. I'm talking about the Davis Walmart. I need to get to the Davis Walmart, now would you please tell me where it is?

Me (exasperated by this point): Sir, I can't do that...because there really is no Walmart in Davis, I don't know how else I can say this. But if you like, I can show you how to get to one of the other...

Him: Forget it! I always thought this town looked like the sort of place where no-one would stop to help someone. You're the third idiot now who's refused to tell me where you are hiding the Walmart. If you won't tell me where it is, I'll just drive around until I find it. I ain't no quitter!

And that was that. He drove off, last seen heading north on E St. A very rude man, in search of the mysterious lost Walmart of Davis. Maybe this is some sort of underground campaign by Walmart to get a store opened here. They'll keep sending people here who are trying to find it in the hope that the city caves in and builds the store for them.

Comments

[Greg]

That is ridiculous. I would have said something to the effect that Davis doesn't even want a Walmart. Weird, odd people.

[Corrie]

I'm wondering how many people he asked before he gave up!

[Elle]

I really love this story. The thought that there's a massive Walmart conspiracy in Davis makes me chuckle. Props to you for being so polite.

[petescully]

That is just incredible! What a silly man. I would have told him Davis doesn't exist.